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Time measured in ways it was never meant to be measured. Dog years, geological eons, celebrity divorces, and the exact number of times your heart has beaten since breakfast.
Chronometers of No Consequence
Things being measured. For absolutely no reason.
Absurd Clocks measures time in units that make perfect sense until you think about them. Watch paint dry, count heartbeats since your last meal, and discover that you are approximately 4,000 dog-weeks old.
Some are. The paint drying timer is based on actual latex paint evaporation rates. The heartbeat counter uses the average resting heart rate. The dog years conversion follows the non-linear AVMA formula. Others are clearly absurdist.
You wouldn't. And yet here you are, already checking.